Categorías
#BlogCultivandoGénero

Oye, amor patriarcal ¿jugamos un partidito?

Por Itzel Lozada

Llega el 14 de febrero e intento mirar hacia otro lado. Recién vi un meme que decía “el que quitó el 30 y 31 de febrero, que también quite el 14”… pero, como no se puede sacar del calendario, acá estoy haciéndole frente a este día, socialmente construido para “celebrar el amor” (Itzel 0, amor patriarcal 1).

  • Pero ¿cuál amor? Ah, pues claro, el de pareja, el romántico. ¿O no?
  • Por supuesto que no -me respondo en mis monólogos infinitos-  Los feminismos me han enseñado a desmontar el amor romántico. Por favor -Itzel- que llevas años teorizando e historizando los mandatos y mitos del amor patriarcal.

Claro, claro pero entonces ¿Por qué quiero saltarme el Día de San Valentín? ¿Por qué siento este vacío después de las rupturas?¿Por qué pienso que tal vez no sé querer de manera libre? (Itzel 0, amor patriarcal 2). Si yo ya he aprendido a “ser cool”;  a no querer etiquetas en las relaciones; a no parecer demasiado “intensa”; a “saber fluir”.

Entre tantas interrogantes, me doy cuenta que ni he desmontado por completo el amor romántico ni tampoco quiero ser “súper cool” en mis relaciones o vínculos sexoafectivos si eso me quita el poder de cuestionar y cuestionarme. No quiero “fluir” si eso me impide  formar acuerdos y exigir que se respeten. No sé como dejar de ser intensa porque no puedo ser de otra forma, entendiendo como intensidad el dejar claro lo que siento (y lo que no).  Y, así como lo hago en lo público, también debo seguir alzando la voz cuando algo no me parece justo ni equilibrado en lo privado (Itzel 1, amor patriarcal 2). Como señala Marcela Lagarde[1], instalar nuestra ciudadanía implica también construir derechos en el amor y en la pareja.

Tal vez, después de todo, sí me he quitado de encima algunas cuestiones del amor patriarcal. Tamara Tenenbaum[2] dice acertadamente que aun cuesta dejar de pensar la soltería como un estado de carencia afectiva del que hay que salir. 

En efecto, pensamos la soltería como una especie de limbo en lo que cambia nuestra “situación sentimental”. Sin embargo, he aprendido a resignificar la soltería como un estado permanente de felicidad (Itzel 2, amor patriarcal 2) porque la soltería -que no soledad- ha traído a mi vida inconmensurables alegrías y , tal vez por ello, paradójicamente, pienso en vínculos amorosos formados desde el deseo y no desde la carencia. Donde las vulnerabilidades sean cuidadas y honradas. Estoy aprendiendo porque, es cierto, al intentarlo me he descolocado del centro. De ese centro que debemos ocupar para encontrar equilibrios y libertades.

No lo he aprendido por mi cuenta, lo sé. Son aprendizajes – y desaprendizajes- colectivos. Y vaya que los hemos colectivizado. Los feminismos nos han enseñado el camino para saber que el patriarcado también se entromete con nuestros miedos y anhelos. El miedo a estar sola, por ejemplo, porque se ha asociado la soledad con la ausencia de una pareja. Pero, gracias a los saberes y sentires colectivos, tenemos la certeza de que no estamos solas porque hemos aprendido que los amores son las amigas; que los amores son nuestras propias pasiones; que es cantar a todo pulmón, vernos el espejo y saber que somos valientes aun cuando sintamos muchas veces que el suelo se hunde.

Y en el camino de los amores bonitos, estamos nosotres. En el centro. Para querernos sin las exigencias del consumismo. Para saber que somos merecedoras del gozo y del placer. Para empezar cada vez que sea necesario y amar a otres. Para formar relaciones amorosas desde la igualdad y la libertad (Itzel 3, amor patriarcal 2).

Te voy ganando amor romántico, hegemónico y patriarcal.


[1] Lagarde y de los Ríos, Marcela, 2022. Claves feministas para la negociación en el amor. Siglo XXI editores.

[2] Tenenbaum, Tamara, 2021. El fin del amor. Amar y coger en el siglo XXI. Ariel

25 respuestas en “Oye, amor patriarcal ¿jugamos un partidito?”

Me encanta como escribes Itzel. Sigue compartiendo conmigo tus pensamientos.
Desde el amor de amigas y compañeras que hemos sido. Te abrazo 🤗

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Thank you for sharing this insightful post! Your writing is clear, informative, and engaging. I appreciate how you’ve broken down complex concepts into easily digestible parts. It’s evident that you have a deep understanding of the topic, and your tips are practical and actionable. I particularly liked the way you addressed [specific point from the article], as it resonated with my own experiences. This kind of content is invaluable for readers looking to expand their knowledge and apply new strategies effectively. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep up the excellent work!

Hi there, I just finished reading your post, and I have to say it’s really insightful! You’ve covered some key points that many people often overlook. I especially appreciated the way you explainedthis article. It’s something I can definitely relate to and I think it will benefit a lot of readers. I also wanted to add that I’ve been exploring a similar topic over at my website, where I discuss [mention something relevant to the post but related to your content]. It’s interesting to see how our ideas align in some areas, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! Thanks again for sharing such valuable information. Keep up the great work!

Hi there, I just finished reading your post, and I have to say it’s really insightful! You’ve covered some key points that many people often overlook. I especially appreciated the way you explainedthis article. It’s something I can definitely relate to and I think it will benefit a lot of readers. I also wanted to add that I’ve been exploring a similar topic over at my website, where I discuss [mention something relevant to the post but related to your content]. It’s interesting to see how our ideas align in some areas, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! Thanks again for sharing such valuable information. Keep up the great work!

Hi there, I just finished reading your post, and I have to say it’s really insightful! You’ve covered some key points that many people often overlook. I especially appreciated the way you explainedthis article. It’s something I can definitely relate to and I think it will benefit a lot of readers. I also wanted to add that I’ve been exploring a similar topic over at my website, where I discuss [mention something relevant to the post but related to your content]. It’s interesting to see how our ideas align in some areas, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! Thanks again for sharing such valuable information. Keep up the great work!

Hi there! I just went through your article, and I have to admit it’s quite impressive! You’ve tackled some really important points that are often overlooked, and I love how you conveyed your thoughts. It was easy to connect with the way you explained things, and I think it’ll resonate with a lot of readers. I’ve been working on something similar over on my site, where I explore [mention relevant content]. I’d be interested to hear what you think! Thanks again for sharing such great information. Keep doing what you do!

Deja un comentario

Tu dirección de correo electrónico no será publicada. Los campos obligatorios están marcados con *